A LIST OF JARGON CIRCULATING IN MY BRANCH
posted by Vina on November 19th, 2008 at 7:46PM
posted by Vina on November 19th, 2008 at 7:46PM
CEO - Chief Embezzlement Officer
CFO - Corporate Fraud Officer
Bull Market - A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
Bear Market - A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.
Value Investing - The art of buying low and selling lower.
P/E Ratio - The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
Broker - What my broker has made me.
Standard & Poor - Your life in a nutshell.
Stock Analyst - Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
Stock Split - When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.
Financial Planner - a guy whose phone has been disconnected.
Market Correction - The day after you buy stocks.
Cash Flow - The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
Yahoo - What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.
Windows - What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.
Institutional Investor - Previous investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.
Profit - An archaic word no longer in use.
CFO - Corporate Fraud Officer
Bull Market - A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
Bear Market - A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.
Value Investing - The art of buying low and selling lower.
P/E Ratio - The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
Broker - What my broker has made me.
Standard & Poor - Your life in a nutshell.
Stock Analyst - Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
Stock Split - When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.
Financial Planner - a guy whose phone has been disconnected.
Market Correction - The day after you buy stocks.
Cash Flow - The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
Yahoo - What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.
Windows - What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.
Institutional Investor - Previous investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.
Profit - An archaic word no longer in use.
